I Have Loved You (A Poem)

The other day I stumbled upon Pablo Neruda's "Tonight I Can Write the Saddest Lines," and rereading this just now, I realized how much I copied Neruda, but I didn't mean to! I think my last stanza is different from the feel of his poem though, and that was the original intention of the poem, only I tried starting from there and realized that there wasn't anywhere to go - I was describing a period after a relationship without the relationship. Neruda's is more about loss I think, while I wanted to illustrate the lingering of things. I finally got the idea to start where I did last week I believe, and I wrote it in a night and am presenting it for you here and now! It's a pretty straight forward poem I think, but I like it anyways. Maybe in the future I'll tweak the punctuation and capitalization, because I really do like e.e. cummings style of practically never capitalizing things - then again, I still need to tweak my style altogether and find a voice that isn't just copying him!

Writing's been scarce lately, I'm wrapped up in devouring as many TV series/seasons and movies as I can, but poetry ideas have been had, so hopefully I can post those more frequently than I have been and not solely write rambles, although I have a fair number of those lined up for writing as well. Either way, I should be able to get 1 or 2 postings a week, to all of you, my millions of adoring fans. Hope you enjoy the poem, leave comments and criticisms on the way out!
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I have loved you
by Matthew Stalbaum

I have loved you, and
It was sweet, the taste of
Content days, knowing
Your skin to run so smoothly
Along my warm breath, how

I could have savored a bit longer for just a bit just a bit

I watched you go and willed back time
But all for not and none and nothing,
Until the day grew darker without you,
Seeing nothing and none and not anymore and
I watched you go and…

I have loved you, yes, and
That has been enough, to have
Known a life with you as each day
Was and is forever somewhere

I would love more, I would love longer
But my chariot won’t bring your flame back

I have loved you, and
Now I cannot unlove you,
Never, impossibly to not
Know you, to not knew you,

Each day grows lighter, and someday,
Maybe, perhaps,
I won’t think of you. But

You’ll be in all these glances,
All these letters and breaths and
Coughs and gestures and laughs and runs and tears and
All the new loves and
Etched into the old ones too
(memory’s a lovely gal) and

I have loved you, how
The world is a stranger, newer place,
This sun not quite so sunnish as I knew,
This sigh not quite so shallow as it was,
This light not quite so colored as I saw,
This life not quite so you, post-you, in
The quake of you, defined by you in
The bare bones and beams of it all,
You…